But the powers that be were not amused. It was thought that the work was destroying the order of our civilization. It must be stopped and further, all signs of the first work had to be destroyed, covered up as if it never was

The artist was unmoved. She did it again, regardless of the fate of her first work. It was her joy, and gave the hours of her life meaning. For what other purpose was she made, but for this very thing?

She did not resent the powers, and she gave them no mind.

I saw her work, and was impressed by the layers. The artful strokes showing an admirable strength, and the mix of medium were unusual.

Perhaps this work was destructive. But I was moved none the less.

and a portrait of the artist

But it was kinda fun. I am full of thoughts about all kinds of things, and why not just dump a few on my website? It's not the LOUVRE, for goodness sakes!

it's supposed to rain hard today. Maybe later, it hasn't yet. I wore a good coat, though. Today, for the first time this year, I rode the bus.

My new car has been fun to drive, but I really shouldn't commute to work if it is possible to ride the bus. The bus is morally superior, and superior in other ways.

But the bus requires taking the air. The air is nippy, and it might be wet. Therefore: coat.

My coat of choice is not a fashionable one. I wore it yesterday too, even though I was not bussing it. It's an air force desert camoflage coat, with excellent pockets.

I like camoflage. I grew up with camoflage everywhere. All the boys wore camoflage. In fact, since the school started during moose hunting season, the school pretty much started with all the boys wearing as much camo as they owned. It was a badge of honor, to have all camo. It was a great advantage when we played capture the flag in the woods. it's hard to capture what you can't see.

Eventually, the school banned it, because it was too casual. We were not allowed to wear jeans either.

Anyway, when I grew up and could buy my own clothes, I liked to have some camo in my closet for certain types of tasks. It's very durable and comfortable, especially the really old worn stuff.

When I went out to visit Telissa, whose husband was in the air force, I tried to find some camo in the thrift stores aroudn the base. In california, i hadn' t found any good camo. It was everywhere in alaska, but not so much here. We couldn't find any.

But later, her considerate husband gifted me with this nice coat. Awesome!

and I use it. It's good for dog walking and bus stop waiting, and other warmth-requiring outdoor activities.

HOWEVER, people have opinions about it.

The react to the militariness of it.

how odd. It's just a practical coat. but people ask me "Have you been in the military?"

And I explain how the coat was a gift from a thoughtful airforce friend.

But they assume things.

huh

And I realize that the only camo i see around here is ON people on active duty. Or little faux camo t-shirts or minis on size zero teenage girls. how weird.

I've long thought that clothing was a form of communication. Pairing harley davidson combat boots with a pale pink lace&cotton prom dress is a wardrobe pun, really.

But there are apparently regional dialects of wardrobe. The camo means one thing to me, and another to the soft and civilized californians.

I wear that coat and I am saying "Warm practical coat."
The see me wear the coat and hear "Paramilitary nut job."

Not the same language.

I am planning a trip to alaska. Chris needs to see it. I think I'm willing to go there for a QUICK trip to show him.

And i wonder....I remember camo being everywhere. But that was about 20 years ago. have things changed? Thank you, Walmart, clothing is plentiful and good quality. Maybe the era of using whatever is at hand is over, and specialization is upon us. Even in Alaska.

I hope not.

Northern Exposure was on TV on new years, and I made Chris watch some of it. I remember it was on TV, maybe reruns, when I first moved to California. That was what people knew as Alaska.

I thought Alaska was just life. I didn't know. I watched the show a couple times to find out what people thought I was. I remember thinking it was pretty close, but somehow not quite.

So Chris and I watched the reruns, I with my more finely tuned perceptions.

OKAY, the fictional town was WAY too cute. It is obvious that the indoor scenes were not filmed in alaska. BECAUSE all the little house furnishings, the window handles and cupboards were too old.

They are similar to the hardware in my 50s house. And I remember the then I used to be, and how hungry I was for anything old. Something from the fifties was impossibly old.

There just wasn't anything that old. If there was something from then...maybe a log cabin? Maybe a sled dog run? But those would not have had all the nice fixtures. or built-in cupboards of the ranch-style.

things were so new. and things were just so damn hard to get. I guess the military was really good at sending supplies, so it was easier for the poor folks (such as my family) to get the cast offs.

the richer folk literally FLEW TO SEATTLE TO GET HAIR CUTS. Unbelievable.

I think that my background is part of why I take the bus. I consider the bus a luxury. That view is not shared by most other Angelinos. But my town didn't have a bus. I really wished i had a bus.

I wonder if they have a bus now. I know my street, Bull Moose Drive, is paved now, a development I am still surprised by.

I'm gonna take Chris to see it. And the lake, renamed Memory Lake. How ironic! Memories of what? Mosquitoes past? The place was virgin forest before they threw up a housing subdivision and named all the streets in two-word animal names--Bull Moose--Red Fox. The lake was called Swamp lake before the developers got there. But I spent many hours on the lake, swimming in the cold summers and iceskating in the freezing winters.

There are a lot of things I need to show Chris, and probably a lot of things I need to see again for myself.

Anyway. I thought I would post a little something.

I'm working for the first time in 2008.

What am I doing?

I started out the day by going to executive headquarters and powering on their conference equipment and putting it in a ready state.

One room was uncabled and a TV antenna had been hooked up. I guess maybe someone wanted to watch TV badly enough to bring their own antenna. NOT permitted.

I unhooked the antenna and recabled the system for it's intended purpose, VIDEO CONFERENCING.

Drove from Executive HQ to my actual office. Yes, I drove to work today. I would have taken the bus, and hopefully will do so tomorrow, but I had some equipment that I had to return. Monday I had a doctor's appointment (all good news, yay!) and I had a trouble spot near that medical building. So, on friday, I packed my car with the needed equipment and brought it with me so that on monday I could do the tests.

WHICH MEANS, today, wednesday, i had to take my car back to work to return the equipment I had used the previous work day.

My job involves a lot of shuttling STUFF around.

And so, today, I shuttled things to the office. When I arrived at my building, I took the equipment out of my car and put them in the van.

Then I went upstairs to the 3rd floor to my cube. I started my email and all other computer things...admired my GTD-style empty inbox. Well, it had one email in it. A survey about how my company is doing regarding diversity. In GTD style, I did the survey RIGHT THEN.

They asked some vague questions and then got really personal. No, I am not transgender. I feel secure in saying that.

Then had a long intense conversation with co-worker about politics, religion, euthanasia (one of his favorite topics) and suburban sprawl (another favorite).

During this long conversation I drank some wretched instant cofee..I have run out of the good instant coffe. I like the international coffees sometimes. You know, the kind that are powdered and sweet and milky? And I try to get sugar free and fat free, which reduces the yumminess. This one, the wretched one, it a generic brand of the reasonably yummy kind. I have NO IDEA what flavor it's supposed to be.

"Cafe Vienna" it's called. It is not chocolate. It doesn't taste vanilla. Or hazelnut or cinnamon...I can't really tell what vienna is supposed to taste like. If I go to vienna, I don't think I will lick it to find out.

I should throw the can out. It is my emergency reserve. I should have bought something yummy, like mocha or french vanilla hazelnut.

But I had the indefinable beverage and a banana.

I scheduled a work trip to antelope valley for next week. Handled some personal business. Bought firepit I've been admiring. Asked my Credit union to fax me a release of lien on the broken car.

I started to check other people's blogs, but then I thought I should write on my own!

hence this post.

I must go to Hollywood soon. I should have left already, but I am eating a rice and corn cake with a piece of soy cheese on it. MMMmm. When I am done with my little sandwich I will leave.

I am musing about all the things that are broken.

Oh yeah..I called our support contract people and asked them to send (again) the three tv monitors that were supposed to be here two weeks ago.

"They aren't there yet?"

"No, the guy from shipping said he had to call you."

"Why would he ask you to call me?"

"He didn't. He said HE would call you."

"oh. What was his name?"

"I dont' remember."

"Hmmm."

"could you go ask them when or if the TVs are being shipped and send me an email with the status?"

"Okay."

"Okay, Happy new year!"

"You too."

I changed the battery in our clock which had gone dead. I realized I need to clean the microwave.

When I was first here, I resisted cleaning the ferociously dirty microwave for at least 6 months. I knew that if I cleaned it I would always clean it, and I didn't want it to be my responsibility.

Responsibility. Like, the clock has needed the battery changed since last friday. YET! I am the one who changed it, today, Wednsday. There is a common saying, "If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself." I modify that here at work. "If I want something done (at all), I have to do it myself."

Anyway, the microwave. I resisted as long as I could, but at last, my daily soup or frozen entree lunch was halted because of the smell. I could put something I intended to eat in the microwave that smells like that. I had to clean it.

Since then, I have come to terms. I microwave something almost daily. The others microwave only a few times a month.

So, maybe it is my job to clean the microwave. Since I use it most. I choose to ignore that before I arrived, the microwave began as wretchedly filthy.

That's my day so far. I have finished my rice cake. I should probably get to hollywood.

I wish you all a productive new year.

I have thoughts to share.

I just don't have the time.

So, I had a very nice Christmas, I hope you did too.

I am wearing a lovely cable-knit hoodie sweater I recieved from my mother-in-law. MONUMENTALLY, I finally had a conversation with Chris's brother, my new brother-in-law. Somehow, in the previous 8 years, we never quite launched a conversation. I kept hoping it would happen, thinkingn that somewhere in there was an interesting thought.

And I WAS RIGHT! My faith is justified, and that actually brings new light to all kinds of possibilities that I have been losing hope on. So that's good.

We got a new car, while not hearing from the insurance yet about old car. Eh, I like me new car, so that's okay.

We have also misplaced the card reader for the camera, so i can't share a digital picture. sorry.

and I'm sorry to be so boring. I appreciate your patience, and I note that the blogs I follow are singularly boring just now, so I am giving myself slack for being unoriginal.

Peace and love to all.

The longest nights of the year are now. Today is the shortest day.

So, find a reason to stay in bed. Cuddle and enjoy warm covers.

Tomorrow will be brighter. It's a fact.

They hit me and my car is done.

the crumple zones crumpled.

I am okay. My neck is a bit stiff, but I think that will be over by the end of the week.

I did see the doctor and I asked him if I needed to rest..He said "Let your pain be your guide."

okay.

yes, this means you.

My job title is Senior Videoconference Engineer

I work on video conferencing equipment. I also sometimes help with audio conferences, and with web conferences.

ALL of those things can be correctly called "teleconferences" and none of them may accurately be described so.

the prefix "tele-" refers to distance.

A telephone is a device that sends SOUND (phone) over DISTANCE (tele).

A television is a device that sends PICTURES (vision) over DISTANCE (tele). Televisions also send sound, but that was old technology by the time television was invented so it got ignored when naming the device.

So, a teleconference is a conference that takes place over distance.

If someone calls me and asks for help setting up a teleconference, I immediately must ask them a bunch of questions that (to them) appear stupid.

"Do you want to have a conference in which all the people dial into a phone and can speak to one another and hear each other throughout?"

or

"Do you want to have a conference in which all the people are sitting in a room looking at a TV that shows someone in another city?"

I sound like a kindergartner because I have been placed in a position of redefining terms EVERY TIME the word teleconference is uttered.

Those questions do sound stupid, but the stupid comes from the question. Just because a word has 5 syllables doesn't mean it's meant to be used or that it makes sense.

A phone conference is a clear accurate phrase. Even a "telephone conference" is okay to say. A "television conference" is a phrase that never gets uttered. A telephone goes both ways, meaning you can talk and the other person on the other end can talk and you can both hear each other, so it seems right to have a conference (a back and forth discussion) using a telephone. But a television is one way. You recieve the video (and the sound) but you never send. So a "television conference", as far as I know, has never been used, and kinda doesn't make sense because when you talk to a TV you really don't expect it to talk back.

A "video conference" is the correct term. But because televisions and telephones are such common household items, AND because they both start with tele-...we in the business tend to call phone conferences AUDIO conferences. A whole other word can sometimes shock a L-user into rethinking what they are asking for, and when they have insisted (for the 5th time) that they want "a TELE conference" and we ask "An audio conference or a video conference?"...we use words that are not part of the television/telephone diad.

audio or video...take your pick

TELECONFERENCE, no
expunge this word from the dictionary. It is non-specific to the point of destruction.

It must be somewhere.

You know those ads for "PC anywhere"? they say "Do you need to access your desktop computer at work from home? Get PC anywhere!"

I need to access my stupid home computer...but

that whitespace is for all the caps i want to use and big profanities. The thing is, our network has been befoogled by the new office. THe office that chris is in. and it's a little far for my laptops' wireless to reliably get to...and YES, we put in cabling back to the house...but I must have punched it down wrong...

and it's because...

and I can't

But it can't happen until

it is all about shaving the yak

which makes be want to curse in caps

and I could if I wanted to...i don't object to cursing or caps when appropriate...

BUT NONE OF THIS IS APROPRIATE

^&*(%
(*()(&*^&%^&!!

Most other places were not filled with the Holy Spirit. In fact, other churches were so far away from God that they were even suspicious of people who were filled with the Holy Spirit. We knew that was silly, because the Bible talks about being filled with the Holy Spirit, right there in the beginning of Acts.

How could a Christian call themself a Christian and be suspicious of what was right there in the BIble?

I wanted to know how it had gotten lost. I was told that the Bible was written, and then the Church got all corrupted because of the sinfulness of the Catholic Church. It was amazing that there was a church at all, but it trucked along by the mercy of--the Holy Spirit!--until Martin Luther could hang his 95 theses on the wall and everyone could be Christians again.

But that didn't answer my question about how Christians had lost the Holy Spirit. What had happened?

It was kinda the same thing. Just like Christianity itself had bumped along in the dark until Martin Luther cast off the evil catholics, the Holy Spirit had been ghosting around like a fog in the dark, just waiting to come back. He waited, until a lady in Los Angeles was suddenly filled with the Holy Spirit, started talking in tongues, and then everyone got filled with the Holy Spirit again.

A lady in Los Angeles? That means it couldn't have been that long ago.

No, it was right before the great depression.They called it the Azusa street revival and that's how our church got started. A lot of churches got started throught that movement.

----------------------

I remember hearing about the Asuza street revival. What I didn't know what how HUGE it was, and that the lady who was filled with the Holy Spirit was a world-wide phenomena knows as Sister Aimee Semple-McPherson.

I didn't even know that my bus passed that very Asuza street church, known as Temple Angelus, every day when I used to work downtown.

She was a huge force, and magnetically powerful woman who had passed into obscure legend, a no-name entity, by the time my folks had jumped on the caboose of the train that had started out as her bandwagon.

She started in the midwest, and her first husband was a preacher. They went to China as missionaries, and he died. She miraculously made it backto america and eventually became an evangelist.

And how! She had a radio show during the heyday of radio. In fact, she was the one who came up with the "Place your hands on the radio to be healed" idea...

I also find it interesting that her phrases (as I have heard them in documentaries) are the accent and tones that I heard imitated by itinerant preachers that came. I aways wondered why people would get that prophesying tone.

Oh Lord-ah...we prayyy for sturength-uh

I wondered about that as a kid...People who spoke normally in conversation would start talking all funny..

IT WAS HER! she talked like that.

And I never knew. I never knew that such an incredible strong woman got baptized in the man-centered church of my youth..baptized SO HARD she never came up for air.

and I had to learn about her through a PBS documentary.

...yet another example of how anonymous is a woman...

There was no end to the references of the Asuza street revival. But heavens, I never knew what it was.

That is a treacherous path down memory lane. I have an odd assortment of music on the computer.

Gin Blossoms. WOW, that's memory lane. it's under the genre heading Alternative & Punk.

Alternative. I remember asking what that was supposed to mean.

"It's like Heavy metal, but about how your life sucks..."

Does anyone else remember the Flannel shirt days of seattle music like me? I haven't met anyone who does in a long time. But the GBs were from that time, and I am there again.

Nirvana can follow Cobain to wherever he went, they were never my anthems. But the Gin Blossoms, a million weird college bands never to be heard from again...They Might be Giants, Linda Perry' screaming "WHAT"S GOING ON?" and the doc marten shod cranberries..."Do you have to...do you have to...?"

"Step out the front door like a ghost into a fog
where no on notices the contrast of white on white"

That slammed me in the gut..the struggle for selfhood and to be noticed in the big wide world of other people's importance...

I remember beign grateful that huge clothing and torn jeans were in, because the homeless look was just about all I could afford at the time. I was POOR.

way poor

and then in '95 I moved to California, and that' about when I met Alanis. SHE let me know just how pissed off I was.

"I dont' mean to pick you apart you see
but I can't help it...
..all I really want is some patience..
a way to calm the angry voice...
and all i really want is deliverance"

Those were the days.

Someone was mortified that our civilized country would allow pharmaceutical companies to advertise. She contended that they were already the most profitable industry ever.

I narrowed my eyes. "I don't think that's true."

"Yes it is!" she said. She had read several books about it.

A smart and successful approach to the problem is to read books about it. And it is more than the casual interest, quite obviously, because it takes work to read it.

but it also takes work to write such a book. And I am suspicious of that...I hear in the distance the sound of an axe grinding.

So, I want to research which companies are the most profitable. Fortune magazine gives a list.

Johnson&Johnson are at #11...but I think they are more focussed on shampoo than finding the new viagra...Pfizer is #15...that's a drug company for sure.

I wonder what criteria those books use? Here's a site that says they are the most profitable. He cites 2001...When my link above cites 2005.

2001 was a bad year for many many companies...Maybe not the best year to pick for judging profitability across the board. Then again, it depends on what you are trying to prove. Maybe if you want to say they are the most profitable, then it is the best year to pick. 2001 is the year you would be RIGHT!

Profitability is tricky. I mean, Enron looked extremely profitable, until it didn't.

What's the deal here? Do we want to be right, or do we want to solve a problem? I personally don't care to be right, I care to be better off.

The people i know that work in the pharmaceutical industry tell me that the research and development of new drugs all get paid for out of american pockets. That the r&d wouldn't happen if they didn't get the money back from the USA.

is that true? they are insiders, but might be skewed to favor their viewpoint too.

As far as I know, all the big companies are international. Wikipedia has a list. They seem to indicate that all the comopanies are based in some nationality.

But trade being what it is, surely they all sell to america. The word on the street that the USA pays for the R&D could be true.

And maybe that's not fair. The EU and Canada should shoulder their part! All the rich nations should be penalized equally!

then again, maybe they are penalized by not getting the good pills. I don't know. It is most intriguing.

I have heard it said that the problem with Big Pharma's profitabiliyt expecations is with the regulations required to get the goods on the market. That the FDA is so darn picky, and can change teh requirements at any time, meaning that Big Pharma might have to undergo big expensive changes to their testing causing delays. That means that they must build into their pricing very high profit levels, on the chance that they might have to do that kind of silly thing.

Of course, the source of this "de regulate!" message is awfully libertarian. So maybe they are skewing the facts to support their beliefs.

The R&D for drugs is not a sure thing. There are all kidns of experiments that are dead ends. That's what it takes to find the good stuff. Try, try and expensive try again.

In the same way that the scientists must look around to find the cure for cancer or aids or MS, shouldn't we be scientific and open minded about finding the cure for our not-optimal health-care system?

let's look at the situation, and poke at it in various ways without assuming the answer pre-poke. it's a large complicated system. who knows what might be the right action?

There are a lot of girls that could be part of the girls' night. But this is the second girls night, and we are capping out at four. They are not all the same girls. It's a rotating cast of people that can manage to come.

At our dinner afterwards, Kim (the organizer) brought something up. She has a roommate, a mostly employed actor, and he asked her what she was doing.

"Girls night"

"Oh, I'm having a dinner party, I was gonna tell you to come."

This dinner party was organized about 2 days prior. They expected about 40 people to show.

OUR girls night had been organized MONTHS ago, but only four people (and only two for the whole time) came.

I suggested that maybe roommate's JOB is to draw an audience, and that is why all these people come. He pulls a crowd, and that is what makes him employed as an actor.

Someone else suggested that maybe it's because all his unemployed actor buddies are quite up for anything at the drop of a hat. He KNOWS a bunch of people with free time.

We girls were not full of free time.

So, It makes me think. How do people end up being friends with people these days? Myspace and Facebook are not really full of friends. Not the sort of friends you see and hang out with.

It's tough, once you get successful and responsible, to maintain the friends. That's why I admire Kim greatly for helping. I know it takes time for her to organize our girls nights.

Somehow I think we forget to give ourselves and fun times a priority. It gets pushed back, lower down on the list. FIRST we have to get to work and FIRST we have to go take the class and FIRST we have to...

but we can't seem to find a second.

I know that once people have kids, they seem to grow a social life again. I've seen elaborate birthday parties for three year olds that have more adults than kids.

I guess if you hang out with poeple who are full of free time, then you can have friends. Like the employed actor. but those of us who are more than mostly employed...well...we like hanging out with other ambitious people. And people like that take 2..3...4...10 tries before you can actually spend the time.

1. Losers think everything is too good to be true, while the successful think that getting a job sounds too bad to be true (think entrepenuer).

2. Losers give up when things don't go their way; a few disappointments and they are onto something else, saying things like "it wasn't for me." The successful work harder and become more determined when things go bad, and understand that you have to take the bad with the good to make it.

3. Losers always have an excuse. Successful people say "my fault" and refuse to make excuses.

4. Losers think that not getting what they want is OK. Successful people are disgusted at the thought of not getting what they want and will do whatever it takes.

5. Losers always have to talk it over with their broke friends to make sure no one will make fun of them if they make a decision. Successful people think for themselves and could care less what their broke friends think.

6. Losers are never coachable and teachable. Successful people are always learning, even when the money starts coming in, they never stop learning from those who were there first.

7. Losers are scared of others. Successful people trust in others and know that other people are crucial for their success.

8. Losers are always procrastinating; they would rather talk about it, read about it, think about it, but never seem to do anything. Successful people hate doing anything but getting it done.

9. Losers are glad when the day is over. Successful people love when the day begins.

10. Losers think successful people are lucky. Successful people put themselves into a position to be "lucky," and then work hard to make the "luck" show up.

11. Losers work by the hour. Successful people work by the month. Losers want to know that after 1 hour of work they have something to show for it. Successful people find Losers who think like that and make them their employees.

12. Losers get excited they just got hired. Successful people think it is funny that someone could be fooled that easily; they are just making the successful person more successful.

13. Losers complain a lot. Successful people are thankful that no one shot at them today, they didn't have to fight in a war, and that they don't have a job.

14. Losers are too concerned about what other people are doing. Successful people are only concerned about what they can be doing to get more done. Losers think that if no one is doing something, it must suck. Successful people think that if no one is doing something, it means more money for them. Losers think that if everyone (all 200 people at the meeting in a city of 1 million) is doing something, it must be saturated. Successful people think that Losers aren't too bright.

15. Losers think it is OK for other people to live where they want to live, drive what they want to drive, and do what they want to do. Losers are OK with the fact that they can't do these things. Successful people get sick just thinking about being average. Losers think that other people's opinions are worth more than their dreams. Successful people know that their dreams are worth more than other people's opinions.
"To be successful, you must learn from Losers and do not do what they do nor think how they think."