WonderBlog

A few months ago, someone told me I was very resilient. His compliment rolled off my back, because I was concentrating on communicating something else altogether.

But it came back to me last week, as I was reading a book by Dr. Ruby Payne. I wanted to read A Framework for Understanding Poverty, but the only book my library had was a relationship book Crossing the Tracks for Love.

I roll my eyes. It is apparently much more important to read a relationship self-help book than to read a societal self-help book. Gawd, we're so ego-centric!

But the book had many of the basic ideas. And that word came up again: Resilience. It means:
Rubber
bouncy
Bounce-back
get-back-on-that-horse-and-ride
Not taking no for an answer
stick-to-it-iveness
STUBBORN

I guess not everyone is like that. It seems like it would come in handy though. What good is it to lay down your tools and give up? Whoever got anywhere by sitting in their mud puddle and crying?

Of course, maybe some people don't want to get anywhere. I do have respect for the quality of 'enough'.

Enough stuff. Enough money. Enough food. Enough enducation.

It's a balance though. Isn't the world big enough to allow boundless pursuit of new things to have 'enough' of?

Posted by Murphy Horner at 10:06 AM | Permalink

My puppy was attacked by the neighbor dog yesterday.

Yes, I am NOT burying the lead on that one.

She is fine. I am still in shock though.

How scary scary. Nice dog comes up to us while I'm taking Lucy out for a walk. Then dog is attacking my perfect little puppy and she is shrieking. The neighbor wrestled with the dog to pull him off. He couldn't.

I was standing there, watching him try to restrain his dog. But when he couldn't, I jumped in and pulled her away. I held her while she was yelping uncontrollably, and kicked the dog away.

She kept shrieking--like nothing I've ever heard before--for a while. I had to hold her until she stopped, then I could feel her to make sure she wasn't hurt.

No broken bones. No blood. She seems fine.

But I took a while to sleep last night, because I kept remembering her screams.

And I think "I should have jumped in sooner. I should have noticed the dog without a leash coming towards her. I should have protected her."

Maybe I should have chewed out the nieghbor more, for letting his vicious dog out.

Maybe if I don't he will really hurt her next time.

I shouldn't let there be a next time!

I am going to have to learn to have quicker reflexes, I guess.

I can't let anything happen to her!

UPDATE:
The neighbor left a card in my mailbox, apologizing for the fight. I feel good about this. I think it indicates sincerity. If they know they messed up by not keeping their dog under control, they will probably work harder to keep him locked up.

Posted by Murphy Horner at 09:44 AM | Permalink

Lots and lots of thoughts are happening. I would like to stop and post, but before I do I zing off on another Japanese high-speed train of thought.

whew.

I get tired from all the thoughts quite often.

I'm gonna try, later today, to compose a post.

Posted by Murphy Horner at 10:11 AM | Permalink

Once upon a time, a little girl had an apple tree. Her parents gave her the apple tree. As long as she could remember, they told her this story:

This is your future, little Nadia. You must tend this tree and make sure it is healthy and bears fruit.

It is a young tree now, but as it gets bigger it will make fruit that you can eat. There will be so many apples that you can eat and be full, and you will have apples left over to sell and buy the other things you need.

When it gets big, you can rest in its shade. When it rains, you can stay dry under the leaves. And if the wind blows, you will be safe under your tree.

We are your parents, and we love you. We give you this tree and you must take care of it, so that you will be safe and secure for all your days.

What an important tree! This tree became Nadia’s whole life. She tended it, and learned all the rules of tree husbandry from her mother and father.

She took great care to water the tree, and to shade it when the sun was too hot. She never strayed too far from the tree. All the things she did, she did with the tree in mind. Always in her thoughts were what the tree needed to be strong and healthy.

Her parents were very proud of her. In all the surrounding areas, people called on Nadia’s mother and father to help them with their trees. Her parents were known for their knowledge of trees.

Nadia grew and her tree grew. She sat in the slender, not-quite-sufficient shade of her beloved tree, dreaming of the apples she would one day gather.

But then her parents came to her with news. A far-away land needed their help and advice. These people had heard of this family’s skill with trees and called them to help plant a new orchard.

Her parents were going to help with this new orchard. Nadia was excited to think of helping these poor far-away people grow a new orchard.

But she would have to leave her tree—her precious tree, with all of her future in its roots and branches. She had cared for this tree for so long.

Her parents urged her to come. Her tree had been tended so carefully, the roots were deep and the branches were strong. It would be fine on its own for a little while. And these people needed her.

Nadia decided it was a good thing to go, so she left with her parents to help the far-away people.

No doubt Nadia knew a lot about trees. But one season followed another and more time than she intended passed.

Her parents were very involved in this new orchard and did not want to leave. Nadia thought of her own tree, though, and decided at last that she must return.

She said goodbye to her parents, who were sad to see her go but still very full of plans for this new orchard. She made her way back to her home and to her apple tree.

She thought of her tree the whole long road back. It would probably have small hard little pippins on it by now. It could be as soon as this fall that should would reap the fruits of all her childhood labors. How sweet it would be!

The landscape seemed changed somehow. It was familiar but not quite right, after she had been gone for so long. When she finally reached her apple tree, she understood.

The tree was gone. It was nothing but a small blackened nub of a stump in the ground.
What had happened? How could this be? Her mind staggered with the shock of loss.

A nearby village had the story. During a storm, lightning had struck her tree, splitting it and burning it to the ground.

Nadia returned to the spot of land where her tree had been. This tree was to be her future. It was supposed to provide and shelter her for the rest of her life. All of her work and hopes were vanished as if they had never been.

She cast herself on the previously happy turf. She cried with despair. All of her life had been for nothing. Her tree was gone. All of it gone and she was totally alone.

After some time passed, she tried to think. Everything she had been taught was for this tree. What could she do? Her future was burned to the ground, but here she was.

She thought perhaps she would be able to go to other orchards nearby and help them. She could find a small fractioned future in this way.

But although they were happy to have her, whenever she began to work with the apple trees she would begin to shake with tears and her heart was too heavy. She had to leave the orchards.

Sad as she was, she knew that she had to do something. She began to find other sorts of plants to work with. Fields of corn and vineyards of grapes— these did not make her as sorrowful as the apples. She learned about the care of many types of plants and was valued in the surrounding farms.

Water still flowed from the rivers and sky. The sun shone to make the flowers open and then to swell the grain and grapes. Nadia learned to read the different leaves and to make sure that pollination and germination happened at the proper times, and the plants under her care prospered.

Nadia began to prosper as well. But whenever she thought of her future, the ghost shadow of a tree fell over her soul and she turned away from the thought. She never went back to the stump of her tree. It was dead and buried to her.

The seasons passed as they always do, and Nadia found herself at the borders of a vineyard after a rainy season. The grapevines were very healthy and Nadia was pleased with them. She walked further away from the plants to see the straight lines of the vines hanging on their strong supports. They looked very strong and full of hope.

Something about this hillside made Nadia look around. Why, this was the very place she had grown up! It had been so long, she had forgotten herself. But even further, she saw a strange collection of greenery to the east.

It was her very own tree, whose roots had grown much deeper than she realized. The stump she had thought completely dead had sprouted new shoots, and the shoots were thick and full of pippins.

Nadia’s surprised hands found her face. How had the harvest she had lost come back to find her? She had never thought such a thing would be. Disbelief bent her knees and she was sitting in the living shadow of the very real tree. Her eyes saw the new growth from the burned stump, and then looked over to the vineyard she had just finished tending.

She could scarcely believe it, but she was now finally going to reap what she had sown.

Posted by Murphy Horner at 01:48 PM | Permalink

I listed to one of my favorite podcasts yesterday:
FatFreeFilm

I used to work with Joel, and I really love the interviews he does on this series. This latest one features Leonard Nimoy.

SPOCK! I LOVE SPOCK!

So I was pretty excited to hear the show. It was great, and at the end, during the "film bites" segment, Spock (sorry, Leonard, you'll always be Spock to me) had some advice.

Speaking of the overwhelming task of producing, funding, and generally making a film [I paraphrase]:

Think of an elephant. If you had to eat an elephant in one day, you couldn't manage it. But if you took one bite out of the elephant every day, with time, you will finish the elephant.

That's a very encouraging thought.

I just wish it didn't seem like I had a herd of elephants.

Posted by Murphy Horner at 02:29 PM | Permalink

Thanks to the WSJ again, I get to be amused.

It turns out that China has become embarrased about their bad translations. There are all sorts of signs and things with English translations that are...well...pretty funny.

Some are kind of incomprehensible, but some are nice. Their English for "Don't Walk On the Grass" is "Show Mercy to the Slender Grass."

They are not alone. I still giggle when I remember the sign the cleaning people put up after they'd shampood the carpets and they were still wet:
BE CAREFUL OF SLIP AND FALL

what first language resulted in that ESL sign? The cleaning people spoke spanish, but the sign was a printed form, so maybe they bought a bunch of them from asia at a discount. Hard to say.

We live in a complex world.

But China will be hosting the Olympics and have decided to clean up their language. There are language police going around and giving fix-it tickets to cities and restaurants, etc. for their bad english.

Of course there are fans of this sort of thing. Check this out:
www.chinglish.de

Posted by Murphy Horner at 09:20 AM | Permalink

Why is the history channel playing "Planet of the Apes"?

Posted by Murphy Horner at 09:26 PM | Permalink

They had these in Jr. High. I used to get them also when email was newer.
Because I am not feeling like plumbing profundity for a post, I will share it with you all:

1. What time did you get up this morning? 4:45--I like to start driving to the gym at 5:30, and that USED to mean I got up at 5, and quickly got dressed & brushed my teeth, fed and injected to cat, grabbed my gym bag and drove away.

Now, with Lucy-Puppy in my life, the morning takes longer. I must still do all the above, but first I must let Missy Puppy out to pee, pet her, run her around, take her in, feed her (which currently requires continuous petting all the while so she will get proper nutrition and grow big and not stunted), take her out again, this time to poo (if she hadn't done so earlier--and sometimes again even if she has), scoop said poo up into plastic gocery bag, take bag-o-poo to the trash, run Lucy around some more, then lock her into her crate.

That meant I had to get up earlier.

I'm glad tomorrow is saturday.

2. Diamonds or pearls? What are you kidding? Both

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Happy Feet

4. What is your favorite TV show? Right now? House

5. What do you usually have for breakfast? i cup GO LEAN kashi high protein and fiber cereal with 1 cup skim milk
..but I just finished a donut that my sabatuer co-worker brought in

7. What is your middle name? May, which is a derivative of my grandmother's middle name. My grandmother, I, and my oldest cousin on my mom's side all have the same middle name, but spelled different. I am not sure how the others spell their name. I think Mae and Maye. But I don't know for certain.

8. What food do you dislike? bland food...and kinda don't like beef, but maybe because it is often bland

9. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Royksopp and Andy Bell...yes, that is two.

10. What kind of car do you drive? 1997 Audi A4. Stick-shift. Looked hard to find a stick shift

11. Favorite sandwich? peanut butter is good, but I am trying not to eat sandwiches

12. What characteristic do you despise? dishonesty

13. Favorite item of clothing? I really like the mechanic-style coveralls that I got for doing my work.

14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? I would like to take the Queen Elizabeth 2 transatlantic cruise

15. What color is your bathroom? blue and grey.

16. Favorite brand of clothing? not a brand whore. I like thrift store clothes
17. Where would you retire to? I have a feeling I will never retire. And I never want to move again. I'll be staying in Claremont with Marshmallow man.

18. What was your most recent memorable birthday? I have had a very good string of birthdays lately. This last one kinda sucked though, cause Chris was sick

19. Favorite sport to watch? Basketball! Go Lakers!

20. Furthest place you are sending this? the end of the universe. It's the internet!

21. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? whatever

22. Person you expect to send it back first? No one

23. Favorite saying? This is a good one.

A Long while back, I was talking to super-cool-friend Char-Lez about the annoyingness of saying "Thank You!" as a prequel to goodbye.

The conversation (often on the phone) goes:

...and so that's settled."

"Thank you!"

"thank you!"

Click. EOM

Okay, who's thanking who for what? Why should I say "Thank you!" when I am the one who should be the recipeint of gratitude? It renders the thanks meaningless, and also trivialized whatever effort was expended on behalf of whoever.

Not to mention the annoying sing-song way the phrase takes on through repetition.

So, I talked about wanting another sign-off phrase, and he suggested "Take Care!"

As he put it, "That is under the radar, because it can mean two things."

Hmm...very good...because if the person is someone I like, and I want them to take care of themselve with tenderness, it works.

But if the person is someone who should learn a few manners, it could mean "Take care not to piss me off again!"

So, I use it all the time now. It is the Murphy Standard.

Take Care, everybody!

24. When is your birthday? 1-1-73

25. Are you a morning person or a night person? If I could ever leave sleep deprivation behind, I might like nights better. But mostly I'm too tired, and morning is when I get things done.

26. What is your shoe size? 8.5

27. Pets? Skellig the cat and Lucy the puppy

28. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? I'm getting married this year!

29. What did you want to be when you were little? A ballerina and everything. I wrote a song about it

30. How are you today? Wondering how guilty I should feel for eating the donut

31. What is your favorite candy? wow...so many. Butterfingers...Skor...Reese's peanut butter cups..Twix...See's!

32. What is your favorite flower? hmm...I am really into plants. I like a variety, nicely arranged (usually by self)

33. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? Today, actually. My brother is coming to visit!

34. What church do you attend? St. Anne's Orthodox Church in Pomona
St. Anne is Mary's mother. She's on the far right, but you can't see her.

The kid's table during coffer hour. Note redbeard Kevin and black-suited AJ sitting there. They know they are too mature to sit with the kids, but the adults are too boring.

33. What is your full name? Elizabeth May Horner...Soon to be Elizabeth May Daley...but really, Murphy Daley...That's a lot of y's...Apropos...

34. What are you listening to right now? Bangles

35. What was the last thing you ate? dang...that donut will not leave me alone.

36. Do you wish on stars? Yes, but only with the verse..
Star light
Star Bright
First star I see tonight
Wish I may
Wish I might
Have the wish I wish tonight

Unless, it's a falling star. Then the trick is to think of a wish before the star is done falling.

37. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Black

38. How is the weather right now? Blue Sky, and its supposed to get warmer

39. Last person you spoke to on the phone? my brother

40. Do you like the person who sent this to you?Nicole is fabulous...And I love her blog

41. Favorite soft drink? diet grapefruit

42. Favorite restaurant? locally? Espiau's

43. Hair color? reddish brown...maybe totally red now. I'm trying to cover the alarming profusion of gray

44. Sibling? 3 older brothers

45. Favorite day of the year? hmm...I like Easter.
46. What was your favorite toy as a child? Roller skates...and I liked audio equipment

47. Summer or winter? Fall

48. Hugs or kisses? Hugs

49. Coffee or tea? Tea

50. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate

51. Do you want your friends to email you back? Yes

52. When was the last time you cried? I cry all the time. But I don't think I've cried this week.

53. What is under your bed? Chris keeps finding socks under there. And probably some folded blankets

54. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Telissa...Kindergarten was a long time ago

55. What did you do last night?
Ran around like a crazy person, trying to keep up with Lucy, and then when she went to sleep, trying to get clothes and gym bag ready for the morning

56. Favorite smell? Love smells...I love the smell of Chris, but he is almost always incredibly clean and therefore not very pungent. I have to get up close...But maybe that's part of why I like it!

57. What are you afraid of? Not making the most of every second

58. Plain, buttered, or salted Popcorn? Buttered and salted..

59. How many keys on your key ring? 6

60. How many years at your current job? a year and a half

61. Favorite day of the week? Saturday

62. How many towns have you lived in? 15, with three repeats ( lived in Sunnyvale twice (three addresses), Wasilla twice, and Anchorage twice(8 addresses)). I'm never moving again.

63. Do you make friends easily? no..but I start intimate conversations very easily...You'd think I could land the friend deal, but no

64. How many people will you be sending this to? the world

65. How many will respond? I have no idea

66. Did you notice that 33 and 34 were repeated? No

Posted by Murphy Horner at 09:27 AM | Permalink