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January 31, 2003

Brobeck's fall

I found out from an aquaintance today that his law firm was shutting down. He was surprized I didn't know already.

But, in my defense, it happened quite suddenly.

This Article talks about how the firm fell. It was apparently a very respected company.

I called my boyfriend to tell him about it. "Remember our attorney friend?"

"What about him?"

"His company went Enron."

Of course, Enron's scandal was far bigger than this law firm. Lawyers (the irony) are still threshing that one out. The executives running away with all the loot, the stock losses for thousands of people saving for their retirement. The blatant dishonesty.

I know very little about Brobeck, but reading between the lines of this article, there are some interesting facts.

"Partners...are personally liable for a percentage of the debt, though it's not clear how much. "

That's a little different from the Arthur Andersen/Enron menage a deux. Personal responsibility is refreshing. But why did they get so far in debt?

Maybe lawyers aren't so good at acounting.

But it seemed to be something else. They apparently would have been okay, but there was dissention in the ranks. Some coalition of lawyers drew sides and some of their best talent left.

That's also ironic, now that I think about it. Lawyers are supposed to be involved in creating agreements between parties. But they couldn't agree with themselves.

"the firm's downward spiral began in earnest in November 2001 when former Chairman Tower Snow Jr., facing opposition from a group of partners unhappy with his management style, said he would not seek re-election to a third term."

Snow left, and took a huge number of attorneys with him.

Then:
" another group of 11 intellectual property partners, led by rainmaker James Elacqua, defected to Dewey Ballantine.

Elacqua said the demise of Brobeck is "a real tragedy." "

It sounds like he didn't really expect the whole place to shut down after he left.

for every action, there is a reaction. AKA consequence. No one really thought it would come to this.

Yup, it's cold

I just found out there's this guy at work who is fascinated with Alaska. He mostly grew up in Texas..Actually, that figures...I'll have to get into the Alaska/Texas thing later. My Alaskan readers know what I mean. Anyway, he forwarded me this correspondence he'd had with a North Pole resident about the effects of cold:

>Off-the-topic question for you: After it's 64 below, when it warms up
>to, say, 30 below, can you tell the difference? I just ask because
>it's something I've wondered for a long time but am not likely to
>find out by personal experience in Houston, TX. And where in Alaska
>are you where it would get so cold?


>ANSWER
>Actually your question is most welcome - I love this place
>and it is kinda fun to talk about it. Yes, 30 below is a major
>improvement. I can drive without the transmission fluid stiffening
>up, I can breathe outside without coughing when I first go out, all
>sorts of goodies. The teens here start wearing shorts again when it
>gets up to 15 to 20 below. We're all a bit nuts, I guess.
>
>I live out of Fairbanks in a little community that was named North
>Pole because of the extreme cold, not the chubby guy in the red fur
>suit...though fur suits do look good this time of year. And chubby
>works out ok here for 8 months of the year...everyone but the teens
>has so many layers of clothing on, you can't tell.
>
>Good story - when I first moved up here years ago, someone told me
>that once it got below 60 below, you could take a cup of boiling
>coffee outside and toss the liquid up into the air - and it would
>turn to ice before it hit the ground. I tried that a couple times in
>'89, when it was below 70 below, and it just isn't true. It turns
>into a cloud and floats away.... don't know how cold it was then,
>even our thermometers stop at 70 below, and mine was bottomed out big
>time.

Well, you can't use BOILING water...But that's pretty neat, that it completely disappeared into mist....

Me and Chris tried it when it got to 40 below, with a cup of just regular cold tap water. What happened was, the droplets that separated themseves from the main body of water DID freeze before it hit the ground. The main section of water didn't freeze that fast and splatted on the snow like a rorschach.

Naturally, Chris and I thought it might need a little more TIME to freeze before it hit the ground. We thought it might freeze entirely if we threw it off the balcony on the second floor. But the distance of the fall worked against us. When we tried to gather the evidence of the experiment on the snow below, it was hard to tell which was the ice from our cup of water and which was just regular ice.

She's right about the breathing thing. When it's really cold, if you breathe through your mouth, your air passage doesn't have enough time to warm the air sufficiently before it reaches your lungs. It hits the little pink cells in your lungs like a punch to the gut; you have to cough. Of course, you can breathe through your nose, but the moisture in the nasal passage instantly freezes on the nose hairs. And it's still not enough time to warm the air. You'll cough and sputter until your lungs get used to the cold and then you can breathe.

You should wear a scarf over your mouth, to breathe through. It creates a little pocket of air warmed by your breath and keeps your warmer. Of course, the scarf gets a layer of frost and ice over the part you're breathing through. And your eylashes frost up.

Of course, what it does to cars is another subject entirely.

January 30, 2003

Alaskan Road Rules, conclusion

THE STORY STARTS HERE

It happened like this.

Tires are an important part of life in Alaska. With all the snow, ice, gravel, and combinations of the three, traction can be a problem. In the summer, you have to worry about driving on loose gravel roads. In the winter you need to be able to drive on snow and ice.

Here in California, I’ve seen tires advertised as “winter tires.” Okay, whatever. That might help on wet concrete, but icy wet concrete takes something a little stronger. In Alaska, we pay technicians to stud our tires. That means taking hot metal plugs and melting them into the rubber of the tire. The process leaves your tires with a double ring of little metal rods poking out. These studs really grab into the ice snow and keep you straight on the road.

In the summer, those metal studs will tear up the bare pavement. In fact, it’s illegal to drive with studded tires after the snow is gone. You can get a ticket.

Most people solve this problem by having two sets of tires. Houses all around my neighborhood had sets of four tires propped up against the side.

My family, however, did not indulge in this luxury. Most years, we did not indulge in the luxury of studs in the tires. Our parents would drive on mostly bald tires. When we lost control on the roads, us kids would rate the degrees of the turn. “That was a good 180,”we’d yell out. “OOOH! A whole 360 degree turn!” 90 degree fishtails were a disappointment--they got us excited initially, but then didn’t follow through with their potential

The winter I was 15 we did have studded tires. I don’t remember why; perhaps there was a sale. Driving that winter was less exciting. My mom really enjoyed them.

But summer follows winter, and we found ourselves in the position of having illegally studded tires. If we could barely afford to have the tires studded in fall, we definitely could not afford to buy an entire new set in spring. Neither could we afford to pay a ticket for driving studded tires in summer.

“Can we have them taken out?” Mom wondered.

“I guess we can ask.” Dad was doubtful.

My brother Mark had a solution: “We can take them out ourselves!”

No one was sure if that was possible, so we had to go check. Mark armed himself with pliers and got halfway under the trunk to get at the tire. Digging deep into the rubber, he got a grip on the metal rod. Pulling and worrying it back and forth, he ripped out the stud and its coin-shaped base.

He flourished it. “I did it! See?”

Well, what do you know? It could be done.

But now Mark had signed himself up to rip the rest of them out. Chris got another pair of pliers and helped him. They jacked up the car, and took the tires off one at a time. It took bracing and pulling room to do this effectively. They were in hurry, so they didn’t really tighten the lug nuts between changes.

I watched from the front steps. On the hard packed dirt of our driveway, my brothers were performing some kind of dental exercise on rubber wheels. The jacked-up car looked mysterious and interesting.

“Why do you have firewood in front of the wheels on the car?” I asked Mark.

“That’s a block.”

“Oh,” I said without comprehension. He was making huge grimaces as he pulled the pliers back and forth to get the stud. “You guys are nuts,” I said. “It’s gonna take forever to get all those out.”

“No it’s not! Look, I have another one already.” He held up the pliers to show me the plug.

He couldn’t stand the fact that I didn’t have faith in his genius method of de-studding the car. Mark insisted that I pull one out myself. It took some doing. He advised me on technique, and as I pulled back and forth on the metal I could see the hole it left in the rubber. The metal seemed to go deep into the tire.

“Will this make the tire pop?” I asked.

“Huh!” Mark said with surprise. He hadn’t thought of that.

We didn’t know if the tires would pop with the studs removed, but we did not that we would get a ticket with them on. They had to go.

I was just happy that I didn’t have to take them out. I took refuge in being the only daughter. This was a male thing, just like chopping the firewood in winter. I got out of that chore too.

I left them to it, and wandered off to read something.

Mom was really relieved when they were done. Now she didn’t have to worry about being stopped by a state trooper. As soon as they were done, she wanted to go out and run some errands. I wasn’t busy so I came along.

It was a nice sunny day in late June. Mom was singing and tapping the steering wheel. I stared out the window at the leafy trees. Then we heard a weird sound.

What’s that? We listened carefully for a while longer. It seemed like a rattley buzz. It was kind of loud.

“I’d better stop and check this out,” Mom said. She opened the hood. Everything seemed normal. She looked at the tires. They seemed fully inflated. We didn’t know what else to do so we got back in the car and kept going.

The sound was still there, but we didn’t know what to do about it. We continued to muse to each other what it might be, and comment about its tone and musicality. But as we rounded the corner to the store, everything happened.

We were thrown forward as the car skidded to a halt. I heard a huge screeching noise and the car lurch downward on my side. Mom instantly started shouting prayers in tongues. Bracing myself against the dashboard I thought, Why is Mom stopping so fast? Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something bouncing away to my right.

It seemed like a long time before the car came to a complete stop. Mom was making little shrieky noises in between deep panicky breaths. I was staring straight at her, looking for some explanation.

“Oh! OH! Oh my goodness! Are you okay?” she grabbed my arm.

“I’m fine, Mom. What happened?”

As soon as she could gather herself together we got out of the car. Of course, as soon as I got out of the car, I noticed the right front tire was gone.

“Mom! Look at this!”

She came around and looked. “Where’s the tire?” she said, looking around like it had disintegrated.

I suddenly remembered that bouncing object I had seen before. Oh, that must have been the tire leaving the car. I ran off to get it and rolled it back.

I set it next to the car. It was a sight to see. The hood was angled down towards the pavement, and the shiny circle of the brake pad was shaved flat on the bottom.

“Oh no,” Mom said. “This is gonna be expensive.”

“It’s totally flat on the bottom.” I said.

Mom sighed. “This is gonna be really expensive.”

Fortunately, we were on a main road and there was a service station nearby. We walked over there and asked them to come tow our car in and see what needed to be fixed. While they were getting the car, Mom made some calls home to Dad.

Those mechanics were real Alaska gems. They were really nice. I hadn’t been in a service station like that before. Anytime we needed someone to work on our incredibly used cars, we called a friend to help us out. So I was looking at all the places where black grease collects in a service station.

“Hey, this ain’t so bad,” the guys told mom. “You can drive on this. No problem.”

Mom’s relief was visible. Apparently, if we had skidded the brake pad down any further it would have been dangerous, but as it was we were dandy. They sold us some lug nuts, but threw in the tow job for free.

Mom thanked them again and again, and we finally got back to our errands.

January 29, 2003

science can be blind

I eat a lot of microwave popcorn. I imagine a lot of people do.

I am also notoriously cheap. It burns me that i have to pay so much for all the packaging of microwave popcorn. I figured that there must be a way to make my own microwave popcorn.

I bought the actual kernels yesterday. I put them in a ziplock bag, leaving a little opening for steam to escape. I put it in the microwave and hit start.

I heard them pop! I was exited! but they weren't popping very much. Not a lot of popping going on.

I opened the microwave. The ziplock bag had melted onto the bottom. Nasty! So I had to get all the hot unpopped kernels out, and then scrape off the melted plastic.

Hmm...

Maybe I needed to use a paper bag.

OR MAYBE i needed to ask the internet how to do this.

I found THIS article.
Very interesting. This poor little science nerd decided to see which was the BEST popcorn brand. His criteria was just that the most kernels popped without burning.

I would be interested in a brand that tasted good, but perhaps that is not easy to define scientifically.

He actually tried his own method of popping corn, using a paper bag. He soaked the kernels in water overnight to increase their water content. The water is apparently what the microwave uses to heat.

And it worked!

But he never saw the true genius of his experiment. He didn't realize that he could bypass the whole paying extra for the packaging and make his own homemade microwave popcorn.

I did find THIS recipe. It's a good guide for ratios and cook time.

January 23, 2003

Moose Kill

I was born and raised in Alaska, but when I was seven, my family moved down to Humboldt County, California. We were only there four years, and then circumstances brought us back to Alaska.

We didn't have anything. We didn't have much in California, and even that little had to be pared down to fit in the carfor the trip. I think we each were allowed one box for our things. We had left the rest of our things behind, to be shipped up later when we had enough money for it. Dad had gone there ahead of us, to prepare the way.

The dear friends we had left behind, those wonderful church people, helped him out. He found a temporary job working as a shoe salesman. When the rest of the family made it up the Alaska-Canada highway in our 60s VW bus, they took all five of us in. Afterwards, another family rented the finished half of a duplex to us and we had a more permanent place to live.

Before the school year started, we got an excited phone call Pastor Frank. It was the first Moose Kill of the season, and they were giving it to us! All that beautiful moose meat, enough to eat on for months. All we had to do was come butcher it up.

Moose were killed all the time, hit by trucks or cars or on railroad tracks by trains. Moose are big; a half-ton of meat and bone, so the state had developed a roadkill list to salvage the meat. An organization, be it a church or charity or whatever, could sign up to be called when a dead moose became available.

Pastor Frank had been called, and had picked up the moose carcass. It was hanging up in his garage when he called us.

Welcome back to Alaska! Trying their hardest not to look the gift moose in the mouth, mom and dad gathered up their children to receive it.

I was confused about what was going on. "We're going where?"

Mom said, "There's been a moose kill, and we get to have the meat."

This explanation in no way prepared me for the sight of a dead moose hanging on a hook in Pastor Frank's garage. It was bloody and hairy and amazingly intact.

My 11-year-old mind was boggled. What were we supposed to do with this animal?

Pastor Frank knew exactly what to do. He was an avid hunter. I'm sure he enjoyed hunting, but a certain amount of practicality was involved: he had eight children to feed. He got out all the butchering tools that he always used: several kinds of knives, a meat grinder, and a chainsaw.

He told us the first thing to do was to get the hide off the animal, and then cut it into smaller pieces. Then he would come back to tell us what to do next.

Take off the hide? We were at a loss. None of us had done this before, but this was not the time to be fainthearted. Frank had taken a knife to the edge of the moose's abdomen, where it had been opened and gutted, and made some quick cuts, easily separating the skin from the muscle.

After he left, Mom started laughing in amazement and disbelief. She took up one of the knives. "Well, okay..." she said. I was right behind her with my own knife, and stood by trepidatiously as she pulled at the skin.

She bravely pulled the hide back, where Frank had cut. She stuck her knife in there, and made some stabs at it. I watched her, dumbly amazed. After a second or so, she said, "Oh, I see! If you use the knife to cut in the right place, it comes right off."

She moved over so I could get started. I tried to cut in with my skinning knife, but for the first few times, I cut into the skin or the muscle and I couldn't get it. She showed me that I should aim for the soft tissue in between the two. She was right; it was really easy when you cut in the right place.

Moose aren't very clean. The hide was dirty, and when I cut into the muscle accidentally, there was blood. And there was a lot of goo involved with the tissuey parts. I washed my hands as often as I could.

But the blood had only just begun. My father was eyeing the chainsaw. After we got the hide off, we had to cut that beast into manageable pieces. It had to be quartered, which meant cutting it into four sections of one leg apiece. The chainsaw was the tool the pros used.

My dad was not a pro, God bless him, but he fired that chainsaw up, gritted his teeth and set to it. VVVrrrr! He pushed that little chainsaw through the moose's heavy bones as his wife and children stood around him with horrified and awestruck faces. We cheered when he finished, and he smiled at us above his bloody rubber apron.

Now we had manageable pieces to work with. But we didn't know what to do next. None of us had done this before; my father was not a hunter. Any wild game that we'd eaten had been a present from someone else. We'd never gone through the whole process.

Pastor Frank must have heard the chainsaw, because he came back around and solved our dilemma.

"This is great!" he congratulated us. "It's coming along fine." He showed up how to string up the quarters on other hooks in the ceiling, and put containers beneath to catch the blood that dripped out.

He was going to throw away the hide, but my 13-year-old brother had plans for it. Pastor Frank was a cheerful man, and thought that was all right. The hide was set aside for later.

It was amazing that, even though the hide was completely removed, there still seemed to be hair everywhere.

The muscles of the skinned meat were pink and they shined like opals as they dripped blood down to the floor. They hung like nightmare wind chimes in the air. I poked at one. It swung a little.

"Oh, that's right," Pastor Frank said. "We have to be careful of this one leg." He pointed his knife at a certain spot we hadn't noticed. There was a big black blotch on the hindquarter. It looked like a marker had bled its ink. "That's where the moose was hit when it was killed." We were supposed to cut around it and toss the bad parts. When he cut into it to show us, the meat was all black and pus-y.

Oh my.

"Oh, you're really lucky!" he told us. "This one wasn't banged up hardly at all. Sometimes, they are all torn up and you can't get much meat off them. This one has plenty of good meat on it."

He told us that we had to save the moose's lower jaw to give to Fish and Game.

"Why do we have to give them the jaw?" my two brothers and I wanted to know.

"Oh, that's just what they decided. You have to prove you weren't poaching. They probably picked the jaw because it isn't much use."

So we pulled and hacked and got the jaw off the moose head and set it aside. The rest of the moose waited.

There was a lot of moose. Pastor Frank told us about his favorite cuts of meat, and how we should take the meat off the bones in certain ways, depending on how we were going to use it. When we had a family portion size, we had to wrap it in plastic wrap, and then wrap it again in freezer paper. We'd tape that into a neat package, and write on it what kind of cut it was.

Pastor Frank would rattle off different kinds of meat we could have. He kept saying, "It depends on what you like." In our state, we were not up to making aesthetic dining choices. Dad finally asked him what he would do if it were his moose.

"Oh, I like to make it into mooseburger. You can always use mooseburger."

As it turned out, mooseburger involved a few extra steps. You had to grind the meat up, which was not such a problem since there was a meat grinder installed in the garage. But you also had to add fat to the meat. Moose is lean meat, and hamburger is not lean. Apparently, we could go to the store and ask for lard.

Supermarkets in Alaska were prepared for this. I went with my mom to the store, and we asked for lard for mooseburger. They gave us several brown grocery sacks full of cubed fat pieces, charging us a nominal price per pound.

It took a lot of fat chunks to make hamburger. I think the ratio was half and half. After one person had sliced off pieces of meat from the bone, they would give them to the one running the hamburger grinder. The meat and fat chunks were put into the grinder, and had to be pushed down while working the big metal handle in a circle. It took some strength and coordination to make that handle go around and push at he same time. The meat was not always willing to be ground and squished through the holes at the end. We'd have to take the grinder apart and clean it out periodically before it would work again.

Every so often, someone would poke their head in and say hello. The grown children of Pastor Frank, neighbors, and church parishioners came by and chatted with us. Most of them had been through this before, and they told us stories of other moose butchering or hunting expeditions. We were happy to talk with them, even though we were covered in blood and elbows deep in moose meat. At that time, it was hard to think of interesting topics of conversation. Most of my brainpower was concentrated on not paying too much attention to how disgusting this whole process was.

Some of these experienced visitors had advice, which we really needed. One neighbor told us that we could make steaks and roasts out of larger cuts of meat. When we realized that we didn't have to grind all of the meat, there was much rejoicing. Things went a little faster after that.

After the second day of butchering, it felt like quite enough. But we were not finished yet. One of our difficulties was that it was August, still summer. Moose kill in the winter kept better, because it was cold. But our meat would spoil if we did not deal with it quickly.

My poor father still had to go to his shoe salesman job during the day. Mom and us kids would work on the moose while he was at work. When he was done at with the shoes, he came straight over and starting cutting with the rest of us.

The third day was tough. We had seen a lot of meat and blood and muscles and tendons and cartilage and connecting tissue and arteries and moose anatomy. It was hard to go back and do it some more. And Dad had to face all that after a day at work.

That last day we gave up on mooseburger. We made a lot of stew meat in chunks. We cut big roasts. Even some extraordinarily large ones. "It will be our Christmas roast!" we said. I think we had five Christmas roasts by the end of the day.

I was so glad to see the end of that day.

We ate a tremendous amount of moose meat that winter. Moose stew. Moose burger. And everything seemed to have a few brown moose hairs in it. The stray hairs were especially insidious in the stews. They would float away from the meat and rise to the top. When you would bring your spoon to your mouth for a sip of broth, suddenly you would feel a wiry two-inch hair on the roof of your mouth. We all had little collections of discarded hairs next to our plates.

The full moose hide had been saved by my brother, because he wanted to tan it. He was quite excited about it. He had read that you could use Alaskan Sourdough to tan hides. He enthusiastically told everyone that sourdough would do the trick and he was going to be the proud owner of a tanned moose hide.

Mom said, "You can do whatever you want, but make sure you keep it away from the house."

This was something of a disappointment to Chris, since he really wanted to nail the hide to the side of the house. That was how real trappers did it. But he got over it, and tromped off to the woods with a crock of sourdough and the moose hide.

I'd had enough of moose in the raw for a while, so I did not follow him. But a few days later, I thought of it.

"Hey Chris, how's your Moose hide? Did you cover it with sourdough?"

He looked down. Apparently the tanning process is harder than it looked. He said that he had covered it in sourdough and left it hanging over a tree branch. But he went back in a day, and it was covered in maggots. Since it was turning green and festering, he had to give up the project.

I don't know where he put the thing. I think he buried it.

After many months of moose meat and moose burger and moose stew, when Christmas came the Christmas moose roast was less special. But every time one of us went to the freezer to get more meat, we reminded each other that we had a package in there waiting, labeled "CHRISTMAS ROAST." There was no way around it. When Christmas came, we were obligated.

Mom cooked it up really good. She had enough practice with moose meat by now. It was pretty decent.

January 22, 2003

long content

I just love my blog. I am a writing addict, really. In prior times, before I had this fabulous content delivery system known as "Blogger" available to me, I would write VOLUMINOUS emails to everyone that would answer. Not to mention the ones that didn't.

The joy of writing them was enough.

Even before email, long ago in the 80s, I used to write letters to people. I had several pen pals I wrote to every week. It felt wrong to me if I didn't write at least 4 pages. To many, I wrote upwards of 20 pages. Honestly, I'm not sure what I had to say. I didn't really have any exciting life as a homeschooled teenager in the remote suburbs of Alaska. But I wrote anyway.

But now we have the internet! There is so much good stuff to read. People generate content every day, scads of it. I don't know how many hundreds of people have their own blogs, and not all of it is self-referential psychotherapy. Not all.

There are all those clever new guys that made stabs at politicians and public figures. And Blogcritics, reviewing music and movies.

A lot of those folks seem to be quick quippers, dashing off little paragraphs.

I tend towards multiple pages. It makes me feel like looking sideways in the mirror.

"Does my blog look fat?"

I found this today, from Openletters.net

The fact is, reading on the web – or at least reading anything longer than a few hundred words – just isn’t that pleasant an activity. And yet the Internet seems like a tremendous opportunity to deliver great writing to a far-flung readership. This is precisely the paradox that has burned up hundreds of millions of dollars in venture capital over the last few years. And still the question remains: how can this cool tool be used to distribute information with a little depth, with a little soul?

Preach it!
That is some of what I am trying to do for you, my readers, known and unknown. A little depth and a little soul.

My tolerance for reading more than a few hundred words on the net might not be shared by everyone. But I hope that I make it worthwhile, the PageDown button not too tiresome, and my chubby blog makes itself worth your time.

louie's story

Hey everybody!

My moose story inspired a friend to write another wild-animal Tale (tail?). I wanted to share it with you.

Louie's story

The black ball beside the road ducked just as I drove past it on my way to work. I realized at once what it was and turned around to get it. Two more cars passed it before I got stopped and the small black ball ducked each time. It couldn't have gotten any closer to the side of the road without being on it. I walked across the road and bent down to pick it up and was meet with a cry and a beak that opened so wide, I could see half way down its throat. The baby magpie must have been blown out of its nest the night before by the high winds, and was hungry. I looked around for the mother and was greeted by cries form a treetop a short distance away. I picked the baby up and put him on the other side of the fence, hoping that its mama would feed it still.

I stopped and looked for it after I got off work that day. I didn't see it and hoped that it was being taken care of. I went on home and fixed some supper for myself. I decided to go do some grocery shopping after supper and so I got into my car and drove out to the road. There right by the road, so close it was scary, was my little friend, sitting there like he was waiting for me to come by. I got out and picked him up, once again greeted with the beak open so wide I was amazed by it.

I set him on the seat of the car and he just looked at me with a look that said, " It was about time. I've been waiting for you. " We went back into the house and I mixed up some baby bird food. He let me feed him without too much trouble, as he was very hungry. Then he just sat there on the towel, looking at me as if to say, "What's next?" I looked him over and marveled at the half-inch tail and the perfect baby feathers all over him.

My husband, Dan usually takes care of the baby birds we find but he was gone for the next week. So I was just praying that I could keep the little guy alive for a week till he got home then we could name him together and he could take over its care. Our first week together went well and we got to know each other. The baby was very alert and would sit there and watch me as I went about my housework. When Dan got home, he said lets name him Louie. Dan figured that Louie was about three weeks old when I found him. Now Louie would just sit and watch all that went on around him and he realized that there were birds in the other room. He wasn't able to fly yet but he could hop to anywhere he wanted to go. It wasn't long before he wanted to join in the fun he thought he was missing in the other room. He would sneak in when I would forget and leave the door open and the other birds thought he was just another of the flock. When he learned to fly, he would chase them around the room.

Louie grew to enjoy being with his people. He would stand on the dish drainer and give you kisses. He didn't like you to touch him but he would always come to see what you were doing. If you were very lucky, he would let you scratch the top of his head with one finger.

We tried to teach him about eating what other magpies ate and so we would offer him pieces of meat and cheese. Louie loved cheese and if you left the top off the container of shredded cheese, Louie would help himself. Louie was always hungry when we got home from work and would rush through the door as soon as you opened it. If you didn't give him food right away, he would follow you around till you did. He would eat all he wanted and then hide the rest. Any little nook or crack was a good place to secret away snacks, in his mind. We would find bits of his dinner stuffed away in our checkbook that had been left on the table or tucked under the edge of a magazine. Anything with a hole in it would soon hold his treats and I had to learn to turn things so it didn't have an opening for him to use.

The minute you started to pull into the driveway, Louie would fly to meet you. He would follow you down the drive and wait patiently on the side view mirror while you got out of the car. I would always talk to him and tell him "Hello, Louie". It wasn't long before he would say hello Louie to himself when I would let him out on the morning. He would sit on the post, chattering to himself.

Louie was very friendly when he wanted to be. He went over to meet the neighbor, Bob, one morning. Now Bob wasn't aware that Louie was a pet and so it kind of freaked him out when Louie peered over the edge of the roof at him. However, Bob was used to all our pigeons standing on the roof edge and so he didn't pay too much attention at first. Bob went to sit in his lawn chair, setting his cigarettes and lighter on the ground beside him. Louie flew down to check it out. Now magpies like bright and shiny things and so these really caught his eye. He tried to pick up the cigarettes and Bob grabbed them. He tore off the bright silver paper from the end of the pack and set it in front of Louie. He set the pack back down. Well, Louie must have decided that bigger was better and tried to carry off the whole pack. The pack was bigger than he was used to carrying and had to land a short distance away. Bob retrieved the pack and set it back down by his chair. Louie decided to try extracting a cigarette from the pack and so he picked it up and shook it. Out fell several of them. Louie grabbed one and flew to the top of a low shed. I guess he didn't like the taste because that's where he left it. Louie would go visit Bob and would even come when he called him. Bob soon found that Louie liked treats and would give him food tidbits during the day.

Louie was under the impression that all creatures were put on this earth for him to play with. As he grew up in the kitchen, he found that the dog was an excellent playmate. I don't think the dog harbored the same thoughts but Louie never took that into consideration. As the dog wandered around the kitchen, Louie thought it was great fun to follow him and pull a couple of hairs on the back of his leg. The dog not realizing this was a game would go hide under the buffet. Louie wanted to play so he would walk under the buffet and chase the dog out and the fun would start again. Louie would follow the dog and whenever the dog wasn't paying him heed, Louie would grab a couple of hairs.

Louie would follow you wherever you went when you were outside. If you headed down the drive to get the mail, he would fly ahead and wait on the mailbox for you. Then he would fly back to a fence post, waiting for you to return. I would sit outside at the patio table and he would come and stand on your feet. If you had shoestrings, they were for Louie to play with. He quickly learned to untie them for you. He would climb up you and sit on your shoulder and give kisses or listen to you talk to him. If you had a snack, you were expected to share.

At dinnertime, Louie would invite himself and would help himself to whatever looked good, dragging his piece off to the edge of the table. After satisfying his hunger, the leftovers were secreted away for late night snacks. One afternoon while I had cookies baking in the oven, Louie followed me in the kitchen door. I took the sheet of cookies out of the oven, turning my back to the ones left to cool on the counter. I was aware of Louie flying back and forth behind me and when I turned to place the warm cookies to cool, discovered that there were several missing from the cooking rack. I grabbed the cookie from Louie's mouth and hunted for the others he had spirited off. I never did find one of them.

Louie was willing to share anything with you, even if it was yours. He would walk across the table to your beer bottle and try to pull it over. He would drink a little beer if you tipped it so he could get his beak into the opening. Then he would strut around the edge of the table as if to say, "Look at me, I'm something special." He would share your soda too, till he discovered he didn't like it.

Magpies are very territorial and Louie took great care to insure that no one invaded his territory. Invaders were not allowed and the meter reader was no exception. I saw her pull into the driveway one day and waited for her to leave. It seemed to be taking a long time for her to do what needed to be done and so I went outside to see what was happening. I found her back by the meter but she had never had a chance to get close enough to read it. Louie was nipping her shoes and flying at her head to keep her away from the house. I tried to let Louie know that it was all right but he wasn't having anything to do with it. She finally got her job done, but I bet she will never forget her encounter with a magpie protector.

Louie didn't react to everyone that came to the house like he did to the meter reader. The vet had to come visit one of the emu's that was feeling under the weather. Louie didn't bother the vet but he thought the vet's truck was a new playground. The vet found Louie riffling through the things on his front seat and just laughed. We were worried about the West Nile virus that was affecting the horses and members of the crow family, and the vet gave us the vaccine to inoculate Louie. The vet still laughs about Louie in his truck.

But some people just shouldn't invade Louie's kingdom, such as the water truck. The driver opened his door and Louie flew straight at him. He scooted across the seat and went out through the other door as Louie decided to check him out. Louie flew straight through the truck, trying to let the driver know he was in hostile territory. Luckily Bob was home and saved the water truck driver from the menace of Louie's protectiveness.

One day, my daughter, Shanna, came for a visit and wanted to see Louie. We were standing by the back door, calling him. He didn't come right away and so I went to look for eggs behind the house. Suddenly I hear Shanna calling me, in a panic or so I it sounded. I got to her as quick as I could and there was Louie standing on her jacket covered arm, talking to her. "Hello Louie. Hahahaha, hello Louie. " She was so excited to see Louie and as he was climbing up and down her arm, told me that she didn't know he could talk. We went into the house and Louie sat with her for an hour before going on to something else.

Louie was a loner for most of the time he was with us, preferring our company to others of his kind but he did make friends with one other magpie and they would spend time together. Louie's friend would land about 30 feet away and watch his interaction with us. A couple of times, Louie wasn't waiting to come in at night and would be out, coming back in the morning to eat. The last time I saw Louie, he had pick up a large piece of hard bird food I had thrown out from the birds' dishes in the house and flew off towards the grove of trees by the creek where the colony of magpies lived.
I don't know if Louie and his friend took up together or if some other fate befell him.

When the wind is blowing, I remember how he didn't like to hear the wind and would sit and shake like a leaf. When I bake cookies, I always wonder where that other cookie is I didn't find. Every time I see a magpie sit on the post and chatter, I hope its Louie. I still find his secret hiding places with his little bits of food. I wonder if he has enough to eat. Wherever he is, we miss him and would love to have him come back to us.

Sheryl Mireles
Sheryl.Mireles@vspan.com

the men of monday night

There is this little Oasis of Germany here in Los Angeles called the Alpine Village. it's the Home of Oktoberfest, and of all things German. The waitresses wear those St. Pauli girl bodices, much to the delight of male patrons.

But I wasn't there for the cleavage. I had in on good authority that Monday nights is free swing dancing. I headed down there to check it out.

Unbelievable. The live band was really excellent. I have been used to ska-type San Francisco swing, but these guys were mellow and sophisticated. Horns, keyboard, drums, they were pros.

I got there before my friend did, the traffic was really light. MLK day and all. So I sat down by the huge dance floor and watched the original swinger go to it.

I mean original. The median age of the dancers out there had to be in the 70s. But they could do it! Those men in their suits! And the ladies with their cute dresses and piled up hair were floating and twirling with style.

I had barely had a chance to take it all in before a fly septegenarian stepped up to my table. "Would you like to dance?" he asked. He had on zoot suit pants, a styling bow-tie and an immaculate white shirt.

I couldn't say no! He was an amazing dancer. A really strong lead, and after a few seconds, he had me dancing things I'd never danced before.

His name was Marco, and he actually knew Robert, the friend I was waiting for. He said, "The YOUNG people usually sit over there in that corner. There is a second dance floor behind the band."

It was all I could do to keep up with him. We danced half a dozen dances before he relinquished me. What energy!

I sat down, still looking for Robert. But I couldn't stay there long. Another gentleman, whose name I never caught asked me to dance. He was a little more staid, but he kept up a conversation the whole time about his travels over the world.

Robert did arrive, and he and I had a great time dancing. But I am still impressed with those gentlemen.

Ladies, if you want to see real charm and remember what it's like for a man to treat you like a queen, go down and dance with the men of monday night at the Alpine Village.

January 17, 2003

powerful names

I met some new friends this weekend...Amy and Jamie. Amy just moved here from Virginia. She is aspiring to be...a singer? an Actress? whatever works.

She was aspiring for a long time to live in LA. Now she is, so she feels like she's made serious progress.

Her full name is Amanda, but she doesn't like it. She said that she went by "Amanda" for a brief, weird period in time. Apparently, the guy she was dating knew a different Amy that treated him badly. He didn't want to call her Amy, too.

That relationship ended.

But Amy was thinking that she might need a new name for her new city.

"What do you think?" she said. "I want something more powerful! Amy is a very passive name."

Jamie was having nothing to do with this. "Your name is your name. You are who your name is. You can't just change it!"

Well, that's not my philosophy at all! Those of you who know me understand that I have unique naming conventions. MURPHY is not my real name...

So I looked at Amy and tried to think of more powerful names. "Rebekah?" I said.

"Hmmm..." was her response.

"Well, let's see...you want powerful names...maybe a verb.
I have it! 'Di' as in Diana! That's a powerful name!!"

Jamie didn't think that was funny, but _I_ thought it was hilarious.

This got me thinking about action verb names. Right then, I couldn't think of any other feminine names that were action verbs. Jamie wasn't playing, anyway, so I let it drop.

But TODAY!

While setting up a video conference for someone my new conference producer appears on the TV screen and introduces himself, "Hello, This is Neil. I will be your producer today.

"Neil?" I said. "That's one of those cool action verb names."

Neil himself was very cool. I told him that there weren't very many female verb names, and about Amy, nee "Di".

So we both started thinking of names. I told him they were mostly masculine names. "Like Stu."

He smiled. "Yeah... And Phil!"

That made me laugh.

But Neil was challenged now. He had to think of girl's names.

"Carrie!"

"Ooh! good one."

Neil works in a big conference support pool, so he got the other guys involved in coming up with names. I walk like a wraith from conference room to conference room, so I didn't have any help. He starts calling out the suggestions:

"Nick!"
"Bob!"
"Chuck!"

"Oh yeah!" I said. "Mark! How could I forget my own brother's name?"

Things were quiet for a while. We were thinking.

It took us a while, but we came up with these names:
Neil
Carrie
Mary
Stu
Phil
Barry
Nick
Pat
Bob
Mark
Di
Chip
Chuck
Flo
March
Carol
Chase
Mike

And, after some discussion, we included:
Eddie
Peg
Jimmy


We were concerned that Peg and Eddie might be nouns, and Jimmy may be one of those names that became a verb because of the person who first performed that action. "To Jimmy" a lock...It may have become a verb because of the original "Jimmy" who invented that action upon the lock.

ANYWAY.

It was very amusing. And Neil was a great sport.

January 15, 2003

the 60s

Bee Gees member Maurice Gibbs passed away recently. That's sad, he was quite young.

This has given rise to some editorial reminisces about the 60s. Collin Levey, in her article for the WSJ, said this:

"The difference is that back in the baby boomers' youth, there were real edges of the envelope. The issues of sex and drugs and freedom and anger and war were new, and raw--they were also in the lyrics of the songs. "

Um..Sure. Sex, Drugs, Freedom and Anger were invented by the 60s generation. What geniuses they were.

I remember when I was a pre-teen, and I heard some straight-ahead rock music for the first time. I was so excited! I thought that this was the coolest thing I had ever heard! The guitars, and the energy. I bopped around telling everyone that THIS WAS THE BEST MUSIC EVER MADE.

It wasn't. I learned that when I grew up a little bit. There was better music out there. I gained some experience, some perspective, and was able to evaluate that music in a broader context.

I'm frustrated with narrow-minded view of history Levey's article represents. Were the hippies the only ones to experience free love? What about the Poet, Lord Bryon? He was a proponent of free love. And George Elliot, the female writer. She gave up the Victorian ideals of marriage and lived in sin with her soulmate, who happened to be married to someone else. She was shunned for that.

Anger...it had been done before the 60s. Ever hear of the French Revolution? And freedom. I think that Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson did some stuff along that line.

Coleridge wrote his drug-induced poem, Kubla Khan, in 1797. That's quite some time before Bob Marley.

Things happened in the 60s. If you lived through them, they may be particularly significant to you. But don't make them more than they were! Have some respect and humility. Every person take their place in history behind some people and ahead of others.

January 14, 2003

circular coincidence

Great minds think alike.

My friend Tantek just blogged about the artistic value of watching people in museums watching art. This idea has been actualized by Thomas Struth, and his exhibit is being shown at the Museum of Contemporary Art. Conveniently, the MOCA is located two blocks from where I work. I already did a review of it.

Tantek thought I needed to let you all know about this circular coincidence. Probably because he is really fond of mark-up and wants to encourage the proliferation of links.

But I think it's worth noting. Take it for what it is.

January 13, 2003

BEST OF THE BLUES


I am listening to my Best of the Blues CD at work today. GOOD GOOD stuff. Man, I tell you what. BB King and Bobby Bland are telling me they'd like to live the love they sing about. And BB wants me to know it's a stormy Monday.

Yes. Yes, it is.

Lovin it.

B000002QTH

January 07, 2003

NEW YEAR AT WORK

My friend Tantek made a list of what he did for his first day back at work in the new year.

He took a much longer holiday than I did. Must be nice!

BUT he also worked a TWELVE HOUR DAY upon return. GEEK!

This is what I did on January 2nd, my first day of work in the new year:


*Got in at 8:30. Habit. It's nice to come early, so I can leave early.

*Check my email. Both work and yahoo. Yahoo comes up faster and is more interesting than my work email.

*Noticed that one half of my co-workers were gone.

*Went to coffee room to get coffee and Microwave my Kasha cereal

*Ate and drank the above.

*Called all the telcom companies who my company uses and who are irritating me.

*Ordered a new cell phone for someone.

*deleted the 5,000 odd spam emails that were in my Inbox. Including one about a teenage girl and a horse that I REALLY wish had not passed in front of my eyes.

*Answered my personal email

*Started a really interesting email discussion about which movies of the '80s were great, and why films buffs ignore the '80s so much

*Did some other work stuff

*Answered a phone call, giving answer #32 of my arsenal, describing the difference between a phone conference and a video conferene. "In a phone conference, you use a phone and you only hear the other participants. In a VIDEO conference, you see the other side. There's a TV in the room, and it talks to you."

*Started a video call

*Surfed

*Deposited my paycheck

*Checked my bank account online.

*Perused my Y-T-D totals sadly, contemplating that taxes were only getting worse and that I made a lot more last year.

*Watered my plant

*More work stuff

*Left kind of late, because I was waiting for a phone call about the next day's meeting.

*Worked 9 hours


I've left a few things out, but that pretty much covers it.

I think in my next post, I'm gonna lie.

January 06, 2003

ENHANCED CD

I had a fabulous weekend. Lots of fun and fun people.

Sunday was the day I caught up on all my errands and chores. While I was out grocery shopping, I decided to give myself a treat and go to Eastside Records. It's a great record shop near where I live. My co-worker had recommended it. She said that poeple who work in the industry sold their extras there, and they were cheap.

Cheap is good! They had a lot of different things for sale: CDs, Vinyl, VHS and DVDs. There was not very much organization; they are really set up to browse. They only have the mediums organized into general categories, such as rock & pop, COuntry & Folk, etc. No other order is imposed on the stacks. But there is a lot of room, and things are cheap.

I was thrilled to pick up the latest Alanis Morrissette CD and the latest Counting Crows. I'm gonna get pissed and depressed really good!

Anyway, I didn' t have a chance to listen to them at home, so I brought the CDs to work. I have a huge set of headphones plugged into my computer.

My boss jokes that I look like I'm landing planes. I tell him that at least no one will talk to me and THINK I'm hearing them when I'm really listening to music.

Whatever. I'm not buying new headphones to please him.

So I pop in the Alanis CD into my CD rom, all set to be pissed.

No Dice.

I pop in Hard Candy, ready to be depressed if I can't be pissed.

No luck.

KNOW WHY? The stupid record execs, who had made these two enhanced CDs, have forgotten to put a listening link on the menu of choices available.

Didn't they realize that people who would use the enhanced CD technology would be the same people who use their computers to listen to the CD?
Yes, thank you very much, I can access the "secret website" from the CD, i'm thrilled, yadda yadda.

HOWEVER, I cannot listen to the CDs I paid for.

Sheesh. Get a clue.

January 04, 2003

CALIFORNIA QUARTER

Hey Everybody!

Here is your chance to vote and be heard. The new design for the California Quarter is being chosen. You know how they are working on making 25-cent pieces now for every state?

You can affect the process! Go to THIS website, and be heard.

As far as I can tell, you do not have to be from California to vote. Heck, I don't think you even have to be american.

Just imagine how pleased you will be to find that your choice ends up being on a quarter.

Let your voice be heard!

January 03, 2003

ARCHIVES DISAPPEARED

Hey, My archives had disappeared!

Thank you for visiting my site anyway. I was looking through the visitors, and I realized a lot of them were going to a really old post.

When I checked, I saw that was the only one of my archives available. Thank you for your patience, and come again.

The rest of the posts are up now.